Sluts have inner conflict

Sometimes it’s difficult to decide when and where to be a slut. It was easier when I was single – I only had myself to answer to, I didn’t have a stable life, and if I did something truly stupid, I could just move on and start over. It’s not like that any more. We have a good life together, and solid careers. We can’t just bail out of the life we have built up because we make a stupid error in our sexual decisions. So I can’t just play with anyone and everyone I would like to.

There is also conflict because while I am a true slut at heart, I’m also a busy adult with a full life. Sometimes I am just not in the mood, too tired, or have no interest in fucking at that moment. Hard to believe, but I think that is true for everyone. It happens. Unfortunately, we don’t usually have those days in sync, and sometimes it can cause conflict. It really sucks when one of us wants to fuck like a monkey in heat and the other just wants to have a beer and not really even talk, much less get busy.

The hardest part is that I would like to be a slut far more often than I am able to be. I want to be a slut at times and with people that would be extremely inappropriate. It would be great if I could fuck some of these people and then wipe their memory clean, but I don’t have that option, so I just have to fantasize and masturbate.

Work and friends provide a lot of conflict for me. The place I work is rather large and diverse – from rough blue collar workers to computer geeks to mid-level worker bees to educated white collars. All kinds of fantasies to play out. I confess I like the blue collars the most. I flirt shamelessly with them as it is, but I would love to shock the shit out of one or two of them by offering myself to them.

There are two guys I work with I often imagine playing with. One is a blue collar, much older, very rough guy. He’s got grandkids and a wife of 30-some years. He’s a redneck and a very basic, nice guy. He also has a little crush on me. We hang out and chat, flirt a bit, just work buddies. I often wonder what he would think if he knew I was imagining him on his knees with his head buried between my legs, my cunt pushing into his face, his rough unshaven face burning my thighs and making me cry.

Would he do something about it if he could read my mind and saw the picture there of him fucking me from behind, roughly squeezing my tits while his cock forces its way into my pussy? Does he want to push me down on my knees, pull my hair and shove his cock in my mouth, fucking my face till he comes and I swallow every bit? When we stand, chatting about our weekend or the bullshit policies at work, I always want to close my office door, take my clothes off and start playing with myself for him, just to see what would happen next. Once I managed to rub my nipples without him noticing while we talked. Or maybe he did notice, I don’t know. It was delicious.

The other guy is even more tempting, because I know that he and his wife like to play with others. I don’t exactly know the terms for them, or how far they take it, but I do know it’s out there, and if I approached it with him, he would either be interested or not, but at least wouldn’t be surprised or “turn me in” so to speak. He’s a little safer – but still a source of conflict. Obviously I’m not going to do this, but what I would love to do is call him to my office under the ruse of a work-related problem, and then offer myself to him unreservedly. Since I know just the edge of his willingness to play, I am constantly imagining what he might do to me. Is he merely a swinger, who shares but only has vanilla sex? Or is he kinky, too – that thought alone has made me come more than once. What if he wanted to make me his personal work fuckslave? He could call me whenever he wanted something, tell me where to meet him, and I would have to obey – blowjob in the stairwell? Be right there. Fuck in the men’s room on the fourth floor? Yes, sir! 69 in your car in the parking lot of the main building? Oh god, yes please. Maybe he would force me to do things with other people, too – for all I know he has other women, and maybe even men, on call at work. How fucking hot would that be?

We have lots of friends I would love to fuck as well. Men, women, couples – we’ve had dinner parties where I was engaging in polite conversation but imagining everyone on the floor writhing all over each other, naked and sweaty, fucking without regard to gender or relationship status. I’ve actually lost my place in the conversation and had to be pulled back in thinking about it. I think they all just thought I had too much wine. Imagine what they would have said if they’d known I was picturing them coming in my hair and calling me a little slut...

Being a slut isn’t always easy. I have to repress the need to act like a slut sometimes. And I can be a source of disappointment when my inner slut just doesn’t feel like coming out to play. Still, nothing is conflict free, and I do so love being a slut when the time is right and the opportunity comes along.