Being a slut can be scary

If you have half a brain, there are limits to being a slut.

My salacious desires seem endless, but the actions I take are limited by comparison. It’s very difficult to know where to draw the line, and extremely frustrating – especially when the line is drawn in different places for me and my husband. That can be the worst part of it – sometimes he is bolder than I am, and would go much further. I hate saying no to him, absolutely hate it. Especially if it’s something I really want to do, but am afraid of the consequences.

If there was no need to worry about hurt feelings, actions interfering in our relationship, other friendships, jobs or a variety of other things that are part and parcel of fucking people outside our marriage, there would be a great deal more slutty behavior occurring on a regular basis. The threat of discovery alone is enough to make me cautious. Being bisexual is tough enough for some people to accept. A cuckold husband, sharing partners, dating others – these are all things that so-called “normal” society does not readily accept and could easily affect our jobs, our friendships and our financial stability. We do have to be careful. It’s really a shit deal.

What I would prefer is to be able to fuck freely. I certainly don’t think everyone needs to feel as we do, but I would like to be able to just feel the urge and get down to it with a willing partner. No interviews, no making sure the person/people aren’t psychos, no fearing the consequences – just fuck like bunnies, get off, and move on. That would kick ass! I think I would average a few new partners every month if that were the case. Men, women, couples, groups – I’d be good to go with all that.

I fantasize about picking up some guy, taking him home and blowing him. Or having him bend me over his trunk and fuck me hard and fast, shoot his load and walk away. Going into a men’s room at a bar for a quickie with a cute guy. Masturbating while my husband drives and letting a trucker watch. Flashing guys, and when one of them does more than look, let him take what he wants from me. And on, and on, and on...

I fantasize like this all the time. All. The. Time. Random people create full-blown fantasies in my head for no apparent reason, and I get all wet and hot and squirmy and need to fuck.

Fear keeps my pants on. Society does not like a slut, and some people would get offended if my tits made an appearance. How do I know which people appreciate a good flash, and which are offended? How do I know who is a nut and who can fuck me with no consequences?

I don’t, so fear keeps me frustrated and horny for adventure as I tip-toe along looking for the "right" ones to do it with.

I was recently invited to a swingers party. Man, I REALLY want to go. But it scares me. Not just because I won’t know anyone, that would go away eventually. This is a group that has been getting it on for quite some time, apparently. The guy who invited me is someone I am fucking, and who I trust (enough).

But I don’t know what these people are like and I don't know what to expect. I get so turned on thinking of being on a bed, having five or six guys invading me all at once, spanking me, fucking me, sucking me, cocks everywhere, lips, tongues, hands, everything – no holds barred.

Even better, plenty of women, no real idea where each one begins or ends, just touching, tasting, licking, sucking, having no idea who is doing the same to me, just feeling so damn good and enjoying the moment. Damn, that would be so awesome! But there is zero control in a situation like that, and that scares me.

I am stuck. Do I choose the frustration but security of the few encounters I can be sure of – as much as we can be sure of anything – or do I take the chance and go for it, fuck like I want to, and trust that we all respect the same rules? Is everyone as safe and sane as I am?

I really want to go.

I don’t think I can.

Fuck.